I can’t believe my daughter Tara turned 39 this past week! And I don’t want to be ashamed to admit it.
Photo/DanJordan
Why are women so concerned and sensitive about their age?
I remember when I couldn’t wait to turn 18—then 21. The next year, my dad died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 47—the same disease that his mother died of in her early sixties.
So, after Dad’s death, my view of life changed. What if I died young of some horrible disease like my dad?
Dreading birthdays. By the time I turned 29, I stopped celebrating my birthdays because I dreaded turning a year older. Oh, my family remembered every one of them with presents and some sort of party. But the threat of aging hung overhead like a heavy dark cloud.
A few of my closest friends and relatives even noticed my insecurities about aging. In fact, since our birthdays were only a few days apart, my younger cousin, Gary, joked a lot with me about “getting old,” until a few years after I turned 40.
Grieving a loss. I grieved when Gary lost his battle to pancreatic cancer at the young age of 39. He never celebrated his fortieth birthday. He missed watching his three beautiful daughters grow up. And he never met his precious grandchildren. He didn’t even live long enough to grow old with the wife of his youth.
Gary did share his faith stories with me the last time I visited with him—he found his peace with God as he faced death. And after his death, my view of “getting old” changed.
Not long after Gary’s death, we also lost my two-year-old nephew, my mother, my uncle (Gary’s dad), and several other close friends and family. And these unexpected tragedies forced me to deal with my own mortality, advancing with each year’s new health challenges.
Celebrating life. Now, I want to celebrate “getting old,” not dread it!
But I still struggle with my emotions as I address that old habit of worry. Every day, I must consider God’s Truth about growing older. I can’t see the truth through the eyes of today’s culture.
With GraceTalk we can confess this truth to our souls, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Ps. 90:12 NIV).
Lord, forgive me for not celebrating every season of my life. Thank You for helping me embrace my sixth decade. Thank you giving my husband Dan and I over forty years of marriage together. Thank You for the gift of a long life, so I can enjoy my two children and seven grandchildren. And Lord, whatever time I have left on Your awesome planet, please help me to live it with gratitude, acknowledging the gift and power grace in my life. Amen.
Believing God’s Promises. I hope you will also consider this promise from God’s Word: “Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us …” (Eph. 2:8-10 MSG).
How do you deal with your insecurities and fears of aging?
