Reaching another major milestone with my age left me feeling a bit depressed and frustrated. Had I missed my opportunity to fulfill my dreams? Was I too old to continue and complete the next leg of my writing journey?
Even though I hit several roadblocks last year, I couldn’t stop.
Yet my husband had retired from his work. Did I need to consider retiring, too?
After wavering for months during 2018, I sensed a renewed passion for writing and speaking as I approached the New Year.
Was God renewing my call? Or—was this just another New Year’s resolution that would soon wane with each passing day?
My doubts and fears kept pressing in, urging me to just give up. But hope continued to whisper new ideas and challenging plans into my soul.
On Jan 7, as I listened to Daily Audio Bible, the story of Abraham and Sarah impressed me.
The Lord had promised Abraham and Sarah a son when Abraham was 99 years old, and Sarah was 90—well beyond the age of childbearing.
When Sarah overheard the Lord’s messenger promise that she would have a son, she laughed, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?” (Gen. 18:12 NIV).
God fulfilled His promise to Sarah and Abraham.
And Sarah rejoiced, “God has blessed me with laughter and all who get the news will laugh with me” (Gen. 21:5-6 NIV).
I remember when I started back to college at the age of 46. I thought I was SO old! I had this wild dream of publishing a book. And I suppose I was just foolish enough to pursue it.
Fast forward a few years—and at the age of 62, my first book was published.
Why do I continue to doubt my ability to fulfill the dreams God has placed on my heart? Because I know my limitations.
But I also continue to believe God promises.
Once again, I’m reminded what the Lord asked Abraham after Sarah laughed, “Is anything too hard for me?” (Gen. 18:14 NIV).
Below I’ve listed some other promises from God’s Word.
- “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9-11).
- “[Nothing] will be impossible with God” (Luke 1:37 ESV).
- “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him” (1 John 5:14-15 ESV).
- “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil. 1:6 ESV).
How must I respond when my faith is weak, and I have doubts?
Lord, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief” (Mark 9:23-24).
What promises help you when your faith is weak?
As a child I thought 21 was old. When I turned 50 I felt an urgency to start living. At 60 it was Lord use me before I die. At 65 I have dreams. Looking forward to my 70’s.
My mother turns 90 this year and she still plans for tomorrow.
I went through a similar thought process last year and did much more thinking than writing. I decided my main concern will be to make the most of the years left to many whether many or few. I have promised myself to do only those things I feel God’s leading in, to give up seeking things that ultimately make me unhappy. I’m writing again, but more for him than for seeking publication or the world’s view of success.
Great to hear from you, Dorothy! I went through a similar thought process, asking myself the question, “What matters most?”
Thanks so much for your comment!